CHANI     

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     My name is Chani but I also go by “Annie” and “Hannah”. I know, how ‘’bipolar’’ right? I get that a lot. When I tell people of my disorder, sometimes the response is, “It’s like you have two brains.” I can understand why someone would feel that way because it is a mood disorder, and it does have unpredictable highs and lows and inconsistency. The thing is, my “type” or classification of bipolar disorder doesn’t replicate the stereotypical versions that are portrayed in the media which is the main source of mental health education for many. I’m not going to say that shows such as “Shameless” don’t have the diagnosis pegged because in ways, it does, however not all bipolars are created equal and I’m here to vouch for that. 

 

     My current psychiatrist recently informed me that the labels of Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2 will now be merging into “just bipolar”. She told me the treatment is the same and so from now on the diagnoses will be labeled the same. I don’t know how true this is across the clinical board. What I do know is that my symptoms definitely do not mimic ones of an immediate family member’s. Some people with Bipolar Disorder experience symptoms such as shopping sprees, talking with racing speech, and initiating multiple tasks at once and unable to finish them. Those manifestations are experienced during mania. I do not experience mania to that degree. When I do become ill, I exhibit a whole lot of anxiety induced lack of sleep which sets me off into a full-blown psychotic state where I lose sense of reality. 

 

     For the people who think those of us who are bipolar are just one big giant walking red flag- I know you exist because after this week, and the comment I received regarding the knock on bipolars and how red flag-esq we are, I’d like to kindly bring something to your attention. For one thing- I like the color green- so I prefer to be a green flag. I am proof that with the right medication and sticking to a healthy sleeping pattern and safe environment the color of your flag is optional. You are a red flag only to those who are ignorant enough to think that help isn’t available to you. With the cost of health insurance and medications, it’s understandable why people would choose to abstain from treatment by default. 

 

     I hope anyone who is reading this understands that people don’t wish to be sick and the people who legitimately want to heal really don’t enjoy being an inpatient in psych units. We also don’t enjoy being labeled as “insane” or “crazy”. A lot of us are predisposed to this condition and or have been raised with adversity that was a contributing factor to our diagnosis. 

 

~Chani 

  

"I've had to learn to fight all my life-got to learn to keep smiling. If you smile, things will work out"-Serena Williams  :)